Zzzzzzzzzzz

I have Issues. With a capital I. And, like most people who publish their daily activities, remarks and history on the interweb (commonly called blogging), I periodically consult a mental health professional. I'm an extremely anxious person. I always have been. When I was younger I couldn't fall asleep without having a ton of things to comfort me under my pillow (little cars, plastic pistols, etc). That's also how I got the habit of having 3 pillows in my bed (one on the side of the wall, two under my head, they form an L shape). I was always worried something could happen in my sleep so I just didn't sleep. Let's not forget I slept in the same room as one of my sisters for my first 12 years, and I still wasn't able to fall asleep. When my parents separated and I moved in with my mother, along with both my sisters, sleep got easier. Not having my father around probably helped.

These days, thanks to my job, my sleep schedule has gone a little haywire. I either start work at 1100 or 1400 and I usually finish anywhere from 2200 to zero dark (midnight for you military muggles). Getting back from work I'll take a shower (my mom can smell me before seeing me, garlic and fryer oil, not my personal filth). Then I'll eat, watch TV series or a movie, most often a few movies. I get to bed around 400 hours. Lately I've been pushing that to 600 or 700 hours. I'm not sure why. My family situation is the best it's ever been, I have my anger issues under control (I tend to get really mad at simple things for no particular reason and I haven't for the last 2 weeks or so, which is really good) and I'm not really scared of sleeping anymore.

Tuesday I went to bed around 4, knowing I had to be at work for 1045. My body woke me up at 730 on Wednesday and did not allow me access to the land where dreams come true. I went to work, came home around 2230, took a shower, watched Valentine's Day (cause it's valentines soon) and Pretty Woman (because of Julia Roberts) and fiddled around with this blog. The fact is, I don't really want to sleep. I look tired, I am a little bit but my eyes aren't shutting themselves. I dunno why but I have Issues.