Dented Rasors

I'm straight edge. It's what people tell me when they offer me a drink at a party and I tell them I don't drink. I also don't do drugs. I don't really see the point. It costs money, drugs are illegal, they tend to be bad for your health in indirect and direct ways (Indirect: you're drunk and you fall off a bridge ; Direct: Your liver is calling it quits) and they don't really solve anything. Sure, they offer momentary release but so what?

During the summer I bike. I'm always biking. I'm bored I bike. I have to go to work, I bike, I have to go to class 20km away I bike. It's one of my releases. I listen to music and I just go. I have a Giant TCR 2 equipped with shimano 105 groupset and Mavic Ksyrium wheels with flat zycral spokes. I work as a bike mechanic/salesman during the summer and I got it at cost price so why not. And it was a pretty sizable upgrade from my single speed (fixie that can coast) Giant Bowery. Before that I had a Giant Boulder SE. I went from 15kph (9 Mph) on the boulder to 25kph (15Mph) on the single speed to 40kph (25Mph) on my full carbon TCR. And that's cruising speed, I can and have gone past 50kph (32 Mph) on a flat surface with my tcr. I zip between cars on sherbrooke and St-catherine streets without thinking twice. I'm rarely afraid. It's one of the few times in my life where I don't think too much, I just do.

But then I get home and I can't do the simplest thing. I can't go to bed. I'm tired, I have to get up early. But I can't hop in my bed and sleep. I'm afraid. I can't control what'll happen when I sleep. Hell, I can't even see it coming. That's one of the things that scares me. Sleep.